This year has been so full of news, some good but mostly bad, and it feels like I'm not even living it. It feels like the rest of the world exists in my phone.
There is a guilt to enjoying myself now, leaving the home is a danger to others. There was also an irrational optimism to the year 2021, that it would be better, that it would bring on a change. 
I have such a longing to enjoy myself, to get away, see the world, but I'm stuck.
It feels Like I'm being blocked in trying to move forward, be that in my career, my social life, or in general.
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